I am back on the hill this morning. The place where distractions fade, cool breeze chills, and rays of sun break horizons…golden and promising.
Today I am not alone up here. My son climbs with me and we talk about fear.
Fear is a giant. It’s distracting.
If I’m being honest…none of the things on the hill scare me. Maybe they should, but (and maybe recklessly) I trust God here, with those things. The freedom to go and meet Him is worth the risk of…well..adventure.
But I struggle with fear–struggle with a battle already won. A victory that I haven’t chosen to claim because my independence is my pride. Ouch.
Somehow the fear of what everyone else thinks is more important than what my Heavenly Father thinks.
What if…
-
- I stand out.
- My idea isn’t the best idea
- Do this wrong
- Pray the wrong thing
- Forget something important
The list goes on and on and on. What if I stand out? What if I chose to step out in faith? What if the thing that God is asking me to do is really actually about helping someone else? What if the outcome is good?
What if stopping at “What if” is the tranquilizer that keeps me from seeing “Then God?”
What am I afraid of…I mean really?
Rejection. Honestly…what people say or think. It’s uncomfortable to step out of my comfort zone. If I knew I would be rewarded I would jump. If I knew I would be rejected, I would never step out.
So do we trust the Lord with both possibilities? Or do we stay home and avoid being rejected at all?
It’s going to take a lot of bravery, resolve, courage and trust. But we all know the answer isn’t sit at home and look at the walls. We must risk in order to truly experience life.
And…Grace for the times we fall flat on our faces. Because sometimes we will fall when it doesn’t even make sense.
But being brave enough to stand back up, brush off and try again no matter who is looking? That’s going to take some strength.
We finished the toughest part of the climb and my son found a tick crawling on his arm. He began telling me how he bravely flicked it off. He scanned the ground nervously anyway, and began talking about which part of the path to stay on so he wouldn’t brush up against another one.
“You know God is always keeping an eye out for us right?” I ask.
“Ya. I’m sure I just brushed up against it…but I didn’t see it. I mean they aren’t dangerous, well sort of. Can you check my hair?”
And I do, while we talk about all the other scary things you can find up here. Rattlesnakes, cougars, and once… a bear. Oh my.
So I ask him what he thinks about all the dangers being up here, do we avoid trouble or just ask God to cover it? Maybe we should just not do anything dangerous.
“Ya but if you spend all your time at home being afraid, what’s the point of even being alive. You wouldn’t be able to do anything but stare at the walls. If you’re okay with it I’m going to go climb that other hill.”
And just like that, fear confronted, he’s off on the adventure again. It isn’t worth missing out on the journey. There’s to much good stuff in life to stay sitting still in fear.
