I am thankful for gentle reminders and young sisters. We need each other. It’s too easy to make a mistake in judging what is dangerous, too easy to end up stranded. Who will call for help if we get ourselves in trouble? But we don’t walk alone, and He doesn’t leave us to our own devices. Thank goodness.
Anxious and overwhelmed. I struggle to trust in Grace where I can’t go.
I’ve done it again; strength or downfall, I’ve bitten off more than I can chew and the pressure rises.
How do I trust here, in this place of self made messes, of knowing I’m letting everyone down a little-or letting down my own expectations with each of them.
I’ve been here before; somehow my spirit keeps waiting to feel like surrendering to rest.
My breath comes shallow, these million little things that I want to get done stare back at me.
I meant well. I really did.
Then my heroic husband calmly walks in and asks what pieces he can pick up. Where can he bridge the gap between done and un-done?
Stressed and annoyed at myself I am still thankful for the offered grace. I let him help. Let him carry extra weight and finish the loose ends.
I need to learn, need to plan ahead, need to be better with time, need to be more aware… need to, not let this moment spin me crazy.
Help me to be still.
(In all that you want to get done, all this serving, and pouring out—where do I fit?)
The Lord whispers in my heart.
Oh.
In all the heart-pouring striving and busy I forgot that God wants to walk it with me. Next to me.
I’m afraid He has condemning words to say to me, things like “you should have planned, you should have thought ahead, done less, focused more…”
But that’s not the shepherds voice.
I still.
I’ve traveled hundreds of miles and stressed and worried about every detail of what I didn’t finish, every “what-if” and every potential failure. And then Grace speaks.
Through the eyes of a younger sister, a delight and beauty of a girl, I heard God’s heart. Through a girl-heart prayer, simple and soft-spoken.
Gratitude for today. Just enough for every heart tomorrow. Teach us to see a better way.
In her sweet words to the Father I hear something I had forgotten in my critical self-judgment. Today is all we have to live in. Tomorrow is another chance. God is enough.
And just like that the stress disappears and I see it (Again.)
It really is all manna. Anything we store up rots in the morning. It wasn’t made to last or be hoarded. Just to be received and provide nutrient for the day. Only enough for the time provided. Gather, give thanks, eat and be filled.
“It’s just obedience in the waiting; in the stillness of your presence? Thank you for reminding me through the eyes of my young sister how You see us, how simple it is. Teach me to still and pause, forgive me for overlooking the unseen because of distractions. Teach me to train my eyes on You and your faithfulness; remind me of what I have forgotten until I can’t un-see it. Thank you for the manna you provided today. I choose your best for me, and all that you have for me on this day. I trust you with the hours I have, teach me to use them wisely. Thank you for your grace and your patience. Teach me to rest in Your presence and trust in Your love.”
I see a sparrow in my minds eye as I hear a soft heart-whisper.
(I AM enough)
And He is.
